Category Archives: Advice

If you can’t say something nice …

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I woke up this morning feeling let down … let down by myself. I try to put my chin up and ignore slings and arrows, but every so often I disappoint myself and fire back with both barrels. While it feels good at the moment of impact, it feels less so when my temper cools.

The good news is that spring is in the air and there’s a distinct change afoot. Green blades are springing up on the lawn and a wild daffodil is blooming in the corner of the yard. I live in a historic district and I often wonder about the long-ago woman who planted it. Best of all, my Carolina Wren – the one that sleeps beneath my back-porch rafters – has returned with his puffed-up feathers and sweet, sweet song.

The change of seasons is a good time to make some changes in my life. I’ve already started. For the first time, I’ve joined a gym. And I’ve embarked on a healthier eating plan by replacing some meals with healthy juices. Although those changes are good, it’s also time to make personal changes too. After all, my mother always says that pretty is as pretty does – and lately, I haven’t been feeling so pretty. With that in mind, here are four things on tap:

• I’m going to stop borrowing trouble. I’m a stewer and a brewer; I’ve always been. I dwell on things that ultimately aren’t serious at all. (You know, the whole mountains out of molehills thing.) I’ll lie awake at night, my mind churning over issues that in the light of day amount to nothing: something I said, something someone else said, a real or imagined slight. I’m going to work on that.

• I’m going to relax. It’s not so much that I don’t like change; it’s that I like being in control. I want to decide if and when something happens or doesn’t happen. I don’t like to cede decisions to anyone else. I like to chart my own course, steer my own ship. I must learn to be more graceful and accepting when that’s not possible.

• I’m going to listen more and talk less. I don’t like silences. Sometimes I catch myself babbling just to smooth over quiet moments that seem awkward. I once watched a film in which the protagonist left silences for others to fill. The things people said in those quiet times were fascinating and extraordinarily revealing. It’s a technique I employed in my work life as a reporter and I want to apply it to my personal life too. Sometimes I get tired of my own voice!

• I’m going to be my own best friend. My husband’s job is in another state and I’m a writer who works from home. While I enjoy my own company, that kind of solitude on a daily basis can be daunting. As I mentioned, I joined a gym. I’ve resolved to take a group class at least three times per week. That will keep me moving about and active. And I’m going to take myself out to lunch or dinner at least twice per week without fail. My home is lovely and my two cats are sweet creatures, but it will be refreshing and healthy to get out more.

Finally, and not insignificantly, I’m going to work on those take-no-prisoners blasts. When I’m tempted to go in with guns blazing, I want to employ Thumper’s quote to his mother from Disney’s Bambi: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

February beauty: Favorites and flops

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 The first week of the month and it’s already been crazy! There must be something in the air, because my world’s been full of drama, drama, drama. I hate drama. It’s exhausting, really, so let’s focus on something much more pleasant — and that’s this month’s favorite and flops. First, the good stuff:

  • Cover FX Custom Infusion Drops — Skin care should be easy and I’m enjoying these concentrated drops that can be used alone or mixed with foundation. I prefer to do the latter because it turns my foundation into an easy, all-day treatment. There are four versions: camomile for calming, neroli for hydration, lemongrass for radiance and my personal choice, jasmine for anti-aging.
  • Cover Girl TruBlend Blush — Spring is almost here and this marbled, baked formula will leave your cheeks glowing like a just-bloomed rose. Even better: The flush of long-lasting color is available at a drugstore price.
  • Coloured Raine liquid lipstick in Classy — The formula goes on smoothly, opaquely and is surprisingly nondrying, but it’s the color that’s the selling point. It’s a cool lavender with just a hint of gray. Top it with Lorac’s Alter Ego lip gloss and people will admire your pout all day. I posted a pic on Facebook and even my boss wanted to know what I was wearing.
  • Natasha Denona eye shadow palettes — Beauty bloggers are buzzing about this richly pigmented brand from Israel and rightly so. The shades are intense, blendable and oh-so-pretty. My favorite is palette No. 8, which features a blend of metallic and matte peaches, roses and browns.
  • Artis Elite Oval 8 and Oval 6 brushes — These unusual, oval-shaped brushes are super-soft and densely packed. Because of that denseness, less product seeps into the synthetic bristles. That’s a money-saver in the end because you use less foundation and other liquid products. Ever noticed how much product goes down the drain when you wash your makeup brushes?

And now, the things I wasn’t wild about:

  • Physician’s Formula Murumuru Butter Bronzer — This came highly recommended but it didn’t work for me. It made me orangey like an Oompa Loompa, and I was using the lightest shade.
  • MAC Retro Matte Liquid Lip Color — I love MAC’s “regular” lipsticks, particularly Velvet Teddy and MAC Red — but the liquid versions were a big bust for me. They weren’t as long lasting as, say, the Anastasia and Kat Von D liquid lippies and the application was patchy. Also, the nude I chose, Lady Be Good, was markedly orange-tinged.

That’s it, y’all. I hope your March is going well. Remember, brighter days are ahead and the spring flowers will soon be in bloom. Stop and smell the roses — and don’t let the drama-lovers get you down!

From the foundation test lab

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 Hey, y’all. I thought I’d give you a quick first impression of two new foundations I tried this week. One was Tarte’s Empowered Hybrid Gel Foundation ($39) and the other was Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Foundation ($44).

As a bit of background, I’m always looking for the newest and best foundation — one that gives my skin that perfect coverage and texture. Since skin is ground zero for any makeup look, the right foundation is critical and I’ll go to great extremes to find it.

Things you should know: I’m 56 but don’t have serious issues with wrinkles; I’ve just a few fine lines. I have combination skin — occasionally slightly oily in the T-zone but normal everywhere else. So let’s get to it:

  • Tarte Hybrid Gel Foundation: I’m going to be honest, I didn’t like this one bit and it’s going straight back to Ulta this weekend. According to Tarte, it’s made with “skin-loving ingredients wrapped in a luxurious, creamy gel.” It may have loved my skin but my skin didn’t love it. The initial application was fine but within a couple of hours, it was breaking up and looking patchy. It didn’t provide that smooth, flawless look I prefer, even when it was freshly applied. It’s a no for me.
  • Charlotte Tilbury Magic Foundation: Unlike Tarte’s new entry into the foundation game, this one applied quite nicely with my Artis Elite Oval 8 brush. It gave me the good-skin look I crave. Coverage is nice, but not quite as full as, say Make Up For Ever’s Ultra HD. I had a video conference call today and received a number of compliments on my makeup, so it clearly looks good on screen. I’m going to keep this one in my foundation rotation to see whether it becomes a permanent fixture.

Note: I’m wearing Charlotte Tilbury Magic Foundation in the photo accompanying this blog. The photo has been cropped but it has not been edited or filtered. It was taken in natural sunlight on my front porch.