Weight loss: Dirty little secrets

Current status: 15 or 20 pounds to go

Losing weight — and by losing weight, I mean changing your lifestyle — isn’t easy. But when you finally get into the groove, start eating right and make exercise a habit, the rewards are worth the effort. Trust me, I know.

After years of losing a little and gaining more back, I got tired of being embarrassed about my body, of being the fat friend, of being the non-MILF, of being the one with “the pretty face but …”

I decided early this year that I was going to do it: I was going to lose weight, once and for all. I told a friend in February that I was going to drop 50 pounds by November. The response? “There’s no way you can do that.” Well, I did that friend one (or 10) better. I’ve lost 60 pounds and intend to reach my goal of losing another 15 or 20 by the end of November.

My journey isn’t over. In fact, it will never be over. But here are five kind of good, kind of bad, kind of odd things I’ve learned:

  1. A new wardrobe is not as fun as you think it will be because it’s so expensive, even if you shop for bargains. Just ask my thrifty husband. (Confession: He is kind of right. I overspend.)
  2. Even rings need to be resized. A very nice one fell off my finger the other day. Fortunately, it slid into my purse and I later found it. On the good side, I have a lot of necklaces on short chains that no longer look like chokers.
  3. Shapewear no longer shapes. I like shapewear because it smooths me out under my clothing. And even though there’s less of me to suck in, I still like to suck it in a little more. I have already purchased all-new panties, but I need new camisoles, bras, waist shapers … Sigh. Those things are expensive and no one even sees them under my clothing.
  4. My balance is improved and I feel much more comfortable in my body, except for one spot: my tailbone. I still have plenty of junk in the trunk — it’s just the way I’m built — but for some reason, my tailbone hurts like heck in airplane and movie-theater seats.
  5. Some people will cheer you on, but some surprising others will not. Gore Vidal once said, “Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.” When it comes to weight loss and improvements to your physical appearance, people get weird. It manifests itself in small and sometimes passive-aggressive ways: They won’t “like” your new, thinner Facebook photo. They’ll say, “Have you lost weight? I hadn’t noticed.” They’ll invite you to their homes for dinner and serve absolutely nothing you can eat, even though they know you’re being cautious. In fact, they’ll go out of their way to put the most calorie-laden foods possible on the table.

The bottom line is that despite the cost, the irritation and the effort, losing weight and becoming more healthy is something you do for yourself and yourself alone. I’d rather have five “thinner me” outfits than 50 of my old size. Ring sizing can wait. Damn my tailbone, I’ll sit on a pillow. And as for friends who aren’t completely supportive of the smaller me? They’ll get used to it. Or not.

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The (s)ex files: weight loss and body image


As almost anyone who’s overweight will tell you, feeling fat often puts the brakes on sex. It’s a body image thing: You don’t feel sexy and that affects your behavior in the bedroom (or the kitchen, or the shower, or …. let your imagination run wild). Oh, sure, there are some super-confident women who embrace their curves and feel sexy at any size, but for most of us it’s an issue.

As some readers of my blog already know, I embarked on a lifestyle change in February. Through a combination of healthy eating and exercise, I’ve been able to lose 48 pounds and want to lose about 30 more. I realize that’s a lot of weight, but in the scheme of things it’s not an incredible amount: I read stories almost every day about women who’ve lost two or three times as much.

Still, the nearly 50 pounds I’ve lost has had positive effects, both physically and mentally. Physically, I’m more comfortable than I’ve been in years. Why? Because in the past, I’ve lost weight with diet alone. This time, I added exercise to the effort. I walk three to five miles on a treadmill five days per week. Last night, I set the speed at 3.5 miles per hour and put in four miles. Now that might not impress some people, but consider that I was a non-exerciser. At first, 1.5 miles at two miles per hour was an effort. Now that seems like a cakewalk.

There’s another element to my exercise routine: Two nights per week, I take an adult dance class. On Tuesdays, it’s a ballet barre/stretch class. On Wednesdays, it’s tap — sometimes one class, sometimes two. I took 17 years of ballet and tap when I was young and love to dance, so the classes are a treat. Ballet and stretching elongate the muscles, while tap strengthens my leg muscles and my mind, the latter because of the long and intricate combinations of steps we learn on the spot.

The weight loss, dance classes and treadmill hours have transformed my body. I’m fortunate –some people who lose weight, particularly at my age — replace their concerns about fat with concerns about loose skin. I don’t have that issue; my skin has reacted well and seems to have retained much of its elasticity. Of course, I’m keeping it moisturized with bath and post-bath products that help.

Though my weight loss journey isn’t over, I feel stronger, more flexible and more sinuous. I move more easily. My body is less cumbersome, less clumsy. It’s easier to bend, flex, contort. And when I run my hands down my body, there’s a new sleekness.

That leads me to the sex part: I feel good. My body feels good. My skin — rid of sugar, preservatives and other toxins — is soft, smooth and glowing. I can feel my ribs, my pelvic bones, the muscles beneath my skin. I’m a breast cancer survivor who had double mastectomies with reconstructive surgery. When I gained weight, my stomach got bigger but my breasts didn’t. It gave me an odd, pregnant-looking profile. Frankly, my breasts look great with my flat stomach (thank you, Dr. Alfredo Villarreal Rios).

All of these things combine to make me more aware of my body, in a positive way. The new physical me has affected the mental me. Result: I feel sexy. I’m good with the way I look naked, and that’s something I haven’t experienced in years. A heightened sense of my own desirability and confidence in my sexuality are welcome side effects of weight loss I didn’t anticipate. I’m not saying that every woman who’s overweight should lose pounds to feel sexual — as I said, heavier women who feel hot can be incredibly sexy. But for me, losing the equivalent of two toddlers has done wonders for my sexual confidence and desire.

My ‘Misfit’ love 

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My Misfit Shine 2 Activity Tracker

This blog isn’t about a misfit romance — although I’ve had plenty of those in my life. Nope, it’s a about a different kind of love: my affection for my Misfit Shine 2 activity tracker.

Here’s a confession: I hate exercise. I took three hours of ballet and tap daily when I was in my teens. That kept me slim and trim, no matter what I ate. Although it was exercise, it felt more like fun. After I started college, I avoided anything that would make me hot and sweaty (well, anything exercise-related, anyway). You can guess what happened. The pounds began to pile up. And up. And up.

Of course, I’d go on periodic diets, some more successful than others. But, inevitably, the diet would end and I’d go back to eating normally and … you know the story.

In February of this year,  I decided enough was enough. What I needed was a lifestyle change, as opposed to a diet. I could feel my resolution building. I know you’re going to ask what diet I’m on, so I’ll tell you. It’s simple: poached eggs or a fruit smoothie for breakfast; fruit with cottage cheese or a salad for lunch; and a small portion of salmon, chicken or steak for dinner with veggies on the side. I’m an ice cream fiend, so I replaced my nightly bowl of Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate with orange, pineapple or mixed tropical sherbet. Sometimes I’ll eat string cheese for a snack, or perhaps some low-cal popcorn.

Anyway, the pounds started to fall off … 10 … 20 … 30. I purchased a treadmill and began walking every day. I currently do three to five miles. By some standards, that’s nothing. For me, it’s a big deal.

My latest gadget is my Misfit Shine 2 activity tracker. It’s a slim, rose-gold disc that looks like a watch. I wear it on my arm during the day and attached to my shoe when I’m on my treadmill. That’s because I usually walk with my hands on the treadmill bars, and because my arms aren’t swinging with each step, the Misfit can’t track my activity.

In addition to counting my steps, my Misfit Shine tells time, monitors my sleep, vibrates when I get a phone call or text message, and tracks my daily goals. A series of small lights at the edge of the dial provides me with all the info I need. Of course, a well-thought-out app also helps. I use my Misfit in conjunction with the Misfit app as well as the Lose It app, which I use to record my food consumption.

Another thing I like about my Misfit? It’s more elegant than many other types of wearable trackers. Mine is currently on my wrist in the black rubberized band that comes standard, but Swarovski makes pretty accessories. I’ve asked my husband for the gray-suede, crystal-studded slake band for my upcoming birthday. That way, I can switch out the rubber version for something more feminine.

In the meantime, I’m sticking to my lifestyle change. I’ve lost a total of 40 pounds and hope to lose 30 more by the holidays!